Random Notes
by Tanny Apple
Summary: what the title says, random notes that are passed between the marauders and Lily and her friends, really weird but hopefuly you will like so please read :D xx
1. Chapter 1

A/N: this story is basically notes being passed by different marauders and lily and so on... but most of these are actully conversations or notes that me and my friends have actully had but ive just changed a bit to fit around the marauders

* * *

Kill me, kill me now, before the dark days of depression wash over me, smothering me like a moonless night... – Jemma xxx

How very descriptive you are, even in such a dark and dismal time for you. It's quite astonishing...how poetic of you. And if they don't stop trying to throw PAPER in my SHOES I will get seriously annoyed! - Lily, the sane one xxx

Even the thought of paper in my shoes is throwing me further into this dark pit of despair; my life is spiralling out of control... soon to end with the bang of a gun. – Jemma xxx

I don't know about you, but if James doesn't stop it I will sink into the ABYSS! - Lily, the USUALLY sane one xxx

Maybe to help control the clasp of depression and the feeling of emptyness you should attempt to throttle Scott in the jaw before returning to the sinking feeling of depression. At least you will die knowing you did all you could to injure him - it would make me feel a damn lot better! - the never sane one Jemma xxx

Me thinks that is the best idea since Mr Hovis decided to make sliced bread. If he thinks it is clever, funny or attractive, he's wrong!!! - Lily, the now not sane one

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A/N: this note happened in a science class with me and lilyorange so yeah let me know what you think :D love tanny apple xx


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: this is another conversation that took place in science (i know we have weird science lessons) so ye we actully had this conversation - we being me, lilyorange, and stephysue (her being the dog murderer) i know its short but i had to edit the conversation down as it was too long so hope you like

* * *

Sirius killed my dog :"( - James

You don't have a dog - Lily

I know because Sirius murdered it! - James

You've never had a dog - Lily

Ye but if I did he would have murdered it - James

Mwahaha - Sirius

See he's evil, evil I tell you - James

Idiots - Lily


	3. Chapter 3

heya :D here's the next chapter, i would like to thank Willoweth for her advice and yeah the last two chapters were real conversations/notes that we have passed at school (yeah i know we are weird lol) also thanks lilyorange for your review these were good convo's have you noticed the best ones happened in science?? lol anyway this one isnt one that me and my friends have actully had but i thought i would include itanyway so hope you like, please review :D xx

* * *

Key:

**James **

_Sirius_

Remus

**Lily**

* * *

**Do you reckon Lily would like it if I wrote her a love poem?**

_Ye that's an awesome idea who wouldn't love it_

**Ok then, so... how do you write a love poem?**

_Geesh what's with all the questions :P ask Mr I'm too smart to get involved in childish pranks like making Professor Hull sit on a woopie cushion, over there_

**Woo long name can we abbreviate it for the purpose of writing it down how about Mr ITSTGICPLMPHSONAWC**

_Na doesn't have the same effect, plus it's still too long_

**How about we stick to Moony for now and think of something later?**

_Deal, but I still haven't forgiven him for not going through with our prank, its not the marauder way_

Get over it Sirius, it was a babyish prank come up with something a bit more original and I'm in

_Who even invited you into this conversation? _

_Prongs did_

_TRATOR_

**Sorry mate but I need help with the Lily love potion situation**

I feel so used :"(

_Haha_

Real mature

_Well at least I'm not a party pooper_

Way to prove you not immature

_Make your mind up a minute ago you said I'm mature now I'm immature_

**Guys stop it you can continue your childish little argument later but right now I need help writing a poem for Lily**

Just make sure it's simple and from the heart

_You call that advice, I could give better advice then that and I'm not the smart one of the group_

Go on then I would like to see you try 

**Oh God**

_You don't think I can do it, I'll prove you wrong moony prepare for the greatest love speech ever written_

I will believe it when I see it

**Just write the dam poem**

_One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun  
Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun  
O! she doth teach the torches to burn bright  
Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night_

**Wow that's beautiful and perfect for Lily, who knew you had it in you Pads, it's a proud day!**

Don't get sentimental yet, Sirius didn't write that its different quotes from a famous play called Romeo and Juliet, you can't pretend you wrote it

_Why not?_

Because its plagiarism and Lily will know James didn't write it

**No she won't, I mean I've never heard it before she probably hasn't either, I'm using it**

_Good on you Prongs, and Remus WOOOOO I beat you take that sucker_

Whatever, I will be in the corner of the classroom laughing my head off when this doesn't work, good luck

**I'm not going to need it**

**I wrote this poem for you :D hope you like it**

**One fairer than my love? The all-seeing sun  
Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun  
O! she doth teach the torches to burn bright  
Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night**

**Why don't you come over to my table**

_Erm why did Lily pour a vat of potion over you when you went over to her_

**Well she kinda knew I didn't write the poem**

_Oops what she say?_

**I'm a moronic idiot who needs to learn that it's illegal to plagiarise someone else's work and that breaking the law doesn't impress her**

_Ouch, but not the worst she's ever said_

**Personally I think she's starting to cave, the insults and consequences aren't as bad any more**

_By George have you realised that mainly she just gives you advice now like what does and doesn't impress her, Jamesy boy I think you're in_

**Really?? Wooooo**

James your hair keeps changing colour lol

**I think the potion she was brewing was a hair one**

_Figures girls and their hair_

I don't know what you're on about your worst then most girls 

**True there Moony**

_Ye well at least I take pride in my appearance_

**And it takes 1 hour in the morning to achieve that pride?**

Good one

_Shut up_

Er how about no

**Shall we continue this discussion about Sirius's hair obsession in charms?**

Lets 

_Grrrr_

**Get over it Pads, write to you later**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: yeah we had this conversation on the school bus yesterday after school, good times lol and a message to lilyorange just because they may be imaginary it doesn't mean they're not important lmao love you, also thanks for the review Glove94 you should be in are science set it is actually quite eventful lol Lizzie likes to get me in trouble during that lesson lol anyway reviews please :D even if it's just to tell me and my friends that were weird (which we already know but anyhow) thanks Willoweth for your reviews and advice :D xxx

ps- no animals were actually ate or killed :D (you will get what I mean when you've read it)

Key-

**James**

_Sirius _

Remus

**Lily**

_You killed my turtle _

**Well you killed my dog**

**Stop arguing over imaginary pets!**

_But mine wasn't imaginary _

Wth?

**I had an imaginary porky pine once called Fred**

_He was tasty_

**He was imaginary **

_He wasn't until I ate him_

**You ate my dear Freddy, Remus told me he went on holiday**

_Ye into my stomach and he came out a day later_

**This is too much to take in**

**This is too disturbed to take in**

**Lily comfort me**

**...**

**Lily where have you gone**

Prongs she left the convo

_Too bad dude_

**This is all your dog murdering porky pine eating fault**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own James, Lily, Sirius or Remus however I do own the conversations though I don't think I should be so willing to admit that :D

* * *

Key-

**James **

_Sirius _

**Lily **

Jemma

* * *

_Lilykins will you go out with James??_

**No and don't call me Lilykins**

_But your made for each other_

**How would you know?**

_I'm the fountain of all knowledge_

Ha if that's true how did you manage o fail the potions test yesterday?

_I gave my potions knowledge to James in order to aid him with his test_

**Sure you did and why would you do that?**

_Simple, he's my assistant and it's my way of paying him for his duties_

The fountain of all knowledge needs an assistant?

_Yep how else could I sort out all my knowledgeous facts out?_

**You are a freak**

**Has Lily agreed to go out with me yet**

**No! **

* * *

A/N: yeah this is a conversation from a maths lesson ages ago but I had to adapt it a bit but yes two lads did actually think they were the fountains of all knowledge lol actually I think the only thing that's changed in this note is the lad coming in at the end so anyway hope you enjoyed it please review :D

Sorry its really short again I will try and make it longer next time but I'm updating fast, so at least that's good :D


	6. Chapter 6

Heya this is another really short chapter, sorry about that but conversations just happen and sometimes its hard to get them down into writing lol anyway this happened on the bus, and im sure Lilyorange doesnt mind me telling you that in this chapter she is actully Sirius woo lol but obviously it was a fan club of girls that gave her the cake (just if you were wondering) anyway hope you like it please review i know its random and wierd but still :D love you loads tanny apple xx

* * *

Key-

**James **

Remus

_Sirius _

**Lily**

_I ate three pieces of cake last night, one of my many admires kept on offering and I couldn't refuse_

**You know what it is don't you?**

_What?_

**She's trying to fatten you up**

Yeah she's going to put you in a pot and cook you like Hansel and Grettle

_Nooo I'm too gorgeous to be eaten_

**Well you should of thought of that before you ate my porky pine**

Get over the dam porky pine

_And your porky pine wasn't a sex symbol_

**TAKE IT BACK**

_No_

**What are you morons talking about now? Why does Potter like he's going to kill Sirius?**

You really don't wanna know 


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: yeah so another random conversation but im not aloud to say who the characters of Lily and James are based on because i have been threatend with death and frankly i quite like life :D anywhooo lilyorange do i get to live now??? so hope you like it and i would just like to say that we proved are point even if 'James' still wont raise his hand lol so yeah thanks for everyone who has reviewed so far :D

* * *

Key –

Jemma

**Lily**

_Phoebe_

**James**

Remus

_Sirius_

* * *

I think Lily should ask James out

_So do I_

**Shut up I'm not asking him out!**

Why not?

**Because...**

_That's not an answer_

**(sticks tongue out) don't care I'm not doing it**

Fine then we will do a vote, hands up if you agree that Lily should ask James out (Jemma, Phoebe, Kelly and Beth raise their hands)

_(shouting across the classroom) Oi Remus raise your hand_

Why?

_Just do it!_

Ok 

Sirius you too

_Alright but are we aloud to know why?_

_No _

**I can't believe you're doing this to me**

We are just trying to prove a point

_Let's ask James to raise his hands_

Good idea

**You wouldn't dare**

Wanna bet?

_James raise your hand_

**James don't**

**What's going on?**

Just raise your hand, everyone else has

**Ignore them James**

_Come on James you know you wanna raise your hand_

**Tell me why and then I might do it**

You're a spoil sport

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A/N: sorry if the Key thing was confusing as there were more characters then normal involved in this conversation so yeah Reviews please :D

love tannyapple xx


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: yeah so the credit for most of this story goes to Lilyorange we worked on it together, this chapter was built around the line 'My hairgrip fell down my bra' which was a real conversation but is the only line left from the original conversation but the rest of the chapter is made up. So big thanks to Lilyorange :D you rock!!! Please enjoy.

Key-

Jemma

**Lily**

_Sirius _

**Jemma – why are you jumping around like there's a hippogriff stuffed up your backside?**

My hairgrip fell down my bra!

**Do you need any help?**

_Ooh what sort of kinky conversation have I stumbled into? Whatever it is I am looooving it!_

**Who the hell is this perverted person?**

Please tell me it's not who I think it is...

_Hello ladies, Sirius Black is the name, snogging in broom cupboards is the game! Jemma, why have you got a hairgrip in your bra?_

Did I say that? I think you misread it.

**Yeah, she said she had left a hair grip down at the...bar, yeah that's right she left it in the bar.**

_No you didn't!_

Yes I did you idiot!

_Jem, are you blushing?_

Er, no.

_Well do you need any help fishing it out of your bra – ooh, sorry, I meant the BAR!_

No thanks, I will manage on my own.

**Jemma, you're blushing really bad!**

Shut it, not helping the situation!

_Told you so!_

Go away you suggestive fool

_Suit yourself, but the offer still stands – nothing better than livening up a dull potions lesson with sticking your hand down somebody's bra!_

Go NOW! Before I hex you so bad you'll be lying on the floor with orange trees sprouting out of the place on your anatomy where the sun don't shine!

_Touche, my friend_

**Well that was awkward**

Yeah and after all that, I still have a bloody hairgrip down my bra!

A/N: good? Bad? Please review

Thanks, tannyapple xx


	9. Chapter 9

Key-

**James **

_Sirius _

**Lily **

_Jamesy I need your help!_

**Erm thats nice... but youve got your hand on my boob**

_Oops thought it was you shoulder_

**Its not that big is it?**

_Yeah you have massive manboobs_

**Nooooo! I have moobs **(pretends to cry)

**Sirius why did I just see you groaping James? have you something you want to admit?**

_Like what?_

**like your coming out of the closet**

_No ive never been in a closet it was a broom cupboard derr_

**Woop poom chau yeah**

A/N: Ok I'm sorry its ridiculously short, but at least its an update right? If anyone has any ideas of what they would like James and co to discuss put it in a review or PM me and I will have ago

Thanks for reading, please review

Tanny apple xx


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: this one is kind of insinuative but i think its funny :)

Key-

**James **

_Sirius _

**Lily **

Professor 

_James is it hard?_

**Yes Sirius its very hard**

_Very, very hard?_

**Yes Sirius!**

**OMG what are you two talking about!**

*innocently* **these rocks**

_Why? What did you think we were talking about_

**Nothing**

_OH my dear Lily you thought we were being dirty didn't you? Well well, I'm shocked, I never expect you to have a mind_

**No I don't!**

**You obviously do**

**I don't! It just sounded really worng...**

_Sure..._

**Thats it I'm moveing to sit somewhere else**

*continueously throwing pencils at lilys back and then looking away innocently*

**STOP IT!**

_Why are they too hard?_

**AHHHH**

Is there a problem?

**Nope of course not Professor**

**Yes there is! They keep throwing things at me**

James? Sirius?

_Really Professor would we ever do anything like that?_

**We were just doing the work ***burst out laughing*

Alright then.

**And so yet again you get away with it.**

_Well obviously not, because he loves us_

**Sure**

**Its true were irresistible**

**Well can you stop annoying me now please?**

**No**

_Never _

_A/N: thanks for reading please review :) _

_tanny apple xx_


	11. Chapter 11

**Lily**

_Jemma_

James 

_What's up Lily you don't look too well?_

**I think I might have had a bit too much fire whisky last ...**

_Aha goody goody Lily drunk well this is good_

**Oh shut up Jemma**, **you're the one practically forcing it down my neck, plus you've drank twice as much as me! How are you fine!**

_Well it's pretty simple my dear I'm not a light weight_

**Wipe that smirk off your face**

_Make me :P_

**Your so charming my dear...not**

_Aha lame come back there –woo don't fall over...too late haha _

*laughs as Lily's left sat on the floor in a heap*

**Oww that hurt**

Here let me help you up

*James helps Lily up off the floor*

**Thankyouuuuu Potter dearest**

Are you alright Lily? 

_She's drunk! Haha_

Oh really? So Lily will you go out with me then?

**Ahh my dear James, I'm not that drunk and your not that lucky!**

*Lily skips off smiling*

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A/N: so a out of the blue review reminded me about this story! i totally forgot about it, i moved school and no longer have them amazing science lessons now :( so thats why i havent updated in such a long time, anyway the review inspired me to write this next chapter which isnt based on a real conversation but instead on the phrase 'im not that desprete and your not that lucky'

thanks for reading hope you enjoyed, please review

tanny apple xx


	12. Chapter 12

**Lily**

_Remus_

James 

**Sirius**

**Why is Sirius more smiley and psycho looking then normal?**

In Hogsmeade yesterday he got a new muggle recordoey player thingy and he's been listening to it continually all night!

**You mean a record player? There really expensive! How did he afford it?**

Its an early birthday present from the Marauders  *sighs heavily*

**His birthdays not for another 8 months!**

_We know _

**Then why did you buy it him?**

_To shut him up!_

**Huh?**

**It's simple really, I saw it, wanted it, threw a tantrum, got it ** *smiles manically*

**Sirius! That's terrible ***has to speak through giggles*

**Yeah but it works, I learnt it off a muggle movie, and I just had to try it**

yeah so basically Lily its your fault that me, Remus and Peter are now broke, you should have never got him interested in muggle films and music!

_Exactly if you had kept your tastes to yourself we would still have money and would have actually managed to get to sleep last night!_


End file.
